6 Honest Prayers for Your Wife to Love You Again

You thought your marriage was in a good place.  You believed your wife loved you just like you love her.  But lately, it doesn’t seem like her affection towards you is very present.  Love between spouses in a marriage can ebb and flow, of course.

But feeling like your spouse doesn’t love you anymore can be heart-breaking and gut-wrenching.

Questions occupy every waking moment in your mind.  What happened?  What did I do wrong?  Why is she feeling this way?  What can I do to change her heart toward me?  You may echo the plea of the Psalmist, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts” (Psalm 139.23 NIV). 

We know we can’t ever really change someone else, but we can pray for them, just like you can pray for your wife’s heart to be softened toward you–for her to love you again.  Her current emotions can be moderated as she feels safe and cared for in your presence.  There may be a deep soul wound, or a sense of separation in her spirit that needs attending to by the Healer and Comforter, the Holy Spirit.

You can intercede for your wife, approaching “God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4.16 NIV).

You may not feel like praying right now, but you came to the Grace and Prayers website for a reason, so “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4.6-7 NIV).  

These six prayers are for you to use when you don’t have words of your own. You may find that as you pray, it’s a beginning point for the emotions of your soul to begin to be spoken in prayer.  Let the Holy Spirit minister to you, and through you as you pray.

A Short Prayer for My Wife to Love Me

God, help my wife to love me.  Enable her to love me again. Surround her with your Spirit to heal her emotions so she can love again.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

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A Prayer to Soften My Wife’s Heart

Dear Father in heaven, my wife is not in love with me.  At least that’s what I feel right now.  She seems to have a hard heart toward me and I’m at a loss to comprehend why she feels that way.

Can you soften her heart?  Can you soften her heart toward me?  Can you God, who parts the seas, moves mountains and raises the dead, can you reach my wife?  I just want her to love me like she did before, before whatever has caused this unbending dislike toward me.

I’ll do whatever I have to do Lord, but I can’t make my wife love me.  Only you can work in her heart and soul and mind.  As I pray, I ask for you to lessen the pain in my wife’s heart, so your Spirit can minister to her.  I ask these things in the name of the Healer and Restorer, Lord Jesus, Amen.

A Prayer for My Wife to Love Me Again

Lord, I don’t know what I’ve done, or what is going on with my wife, but I don’t think she loves me anymore. We’re existing like roommates not spouses.  She is my whole world and I dearly love her.  Her love is vital to my life and without her love, I feel empty and aimless.

I want her to love me again. Please, God, I pray for you to work in her to enable her to love me again.

Whatever is going on, she doesn’t want to talk about because I’ve tried.  I know I’m not perfect, Lord, but I don’t know what else I can do to show her I love her.  There’s something blocking her love for me, so I come to you asking to knock down that wall between us.  I pray for her, God, for her to have a heart that is refreshed in you, more willing to love you and love me.  I ask this in the strong name of Jesus, Amen.

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A Prayer to Not Be Negative Towards My Wife

Father God, I’m praying for you to help me.  My wife doesn’t seem to love me anymore and I’m having a hard time not being negative towards her as a result.  I love her, but when she doesn’t love me back, I feel hurt and abandoned and upset and not in a good frame of mind.

It’s just easier to be negative right back at her when she is unloving toward me.  I know I’m supposed love those who hurt me and I do love her.  But her unloving behavior towards me just breeds negativity in me in return.  Help me, God!  Help me be the man of integrity and character I know I truly am.  You set me free from the law of sin and death so give me strength to live in that freedom each day.

Give me the strength to love her even when she is unloving towards me.  Remind me, hour by hour if need be, that you loved me when I was not loving you, O God.  Let the grace you gave to me flow through to my wife, so that she knows she is loved and accepted.  I ask this in the name of the One who is Love, Jesus, Amen.

A Prayer for Understanding My Wife’s Emotions

God, I’m confused.  Your Word says you are not a God of disorder or confusion so enable me to sort out what’s going on with my wife.  She doesn’t seem to love me right now.  I’m trying to understand her emotions and what she is feeling but it’s like a whack-a-mole game–one emotion erupts and I deal with it, but then another one pops up to be attended to.

I am uncertain as to why my wife is not in love with me anymore.  There are parts of her I still don’t know about because she won’t let me into what she’s feeling.   I pray if there is a soul wound that you would heal it in her.  My wife hasn’t talked about some aspects of her past, so I think that’s connected to how she feels towards me now.  I just want to understand so I can support her.  I love her now and will love her through whatever this is, yet it’s difficult to do so when I only have half the picture.

You are the One who knows all, so guide me into truth for my wife, in the strong name of Jesus, Amen.

A Prayer for My Part in Our Relationship

Dear God, my wife doesn’t love me anymore, or at least that’s what it feels like.  I pray for her heart to be softened towards me.  For the life of me, I cannot figure out why she feels the way she does right now.  As despondent as I feel at the moment, I feel like putting all the blame on her for what is happening in our marriage.

I know that’s not right and it’s not fair.  I have a responsibility too.  Even if it’s 99% all on her, I have at least 1% part in this situation and I own that.  It’s probably not that lopsided Lord, I realize that–I’ve just got a lot of emotions and feelings swinging around inside me.

As much as I want to change my wife, to change her heart towards me so she’ll love me again, I know I can’t.  I don’t have the power to change anyone but myself.  God, help me focus on how I react to her, not on trying to change her–only you can transform her heart.  I want us to get to the other side of this time, where we both are loving to each other.  Help us recapture the love we started with, O God.  I pray this in Christ’s name, Amen.

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Concluding Thoughts

We hope you prayed at least one of these prayers.  Were they helpful to you?  Did praying open up your connection with God, to really share your fears and hopes for your relationship with your spouse?

Please continue to pray these prayers as you continue to love your wife.  Keep hope alive in your spirit, because God tells us in scripture that “There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off” (Proverbs 23.18 NIV).

We understand that this is a tough season you are living through and we invite you to share your prayers and requests in the comments section.  Sometimes knowing others are praying for you is the uplift you need and provides reassurance.  You are not alone, for God is “Immanuel, which means God with us” (Matthew 1.23 NIV).