I’ve gone through my fair share of breakups. My most crushing breakup was with a college boyfriend. It was devastating and led to a deep period of loneliness and depression, but also brought me closer to God than ever before. Breakups are a sensitive time in someone’s life, but it’s so important to pray for everyone going through breakups!
For the sake of privacy, let’s call my college boyfriend John. John and I dated for almost 2 years. We were madly in love and talked about building a life together even though we were only 20 years old. We both thought we were going to get married someday.
However, as the months went on we realized we had some fundamental differences we couldn’t reconcile. It was horrible to call it quits even though neither of us wanted to. We both knew that dating was for marriage and if we didn’t see that as a possibility there was no point in continuing the relationship.
The next 18 months were a rabbit hole of depression and a continued unhealthy relationship with John. We made a mature decision to break up, but we made an immature decision to keep relying on each other physically and emotionally despite the knowledge that our relationship could never last.
Despite the unhealthy relationship that ensued after the breakup, it was also a time of deep spiritual searching. Luckily, I had the wisdom to seek the loving arms of the Father, but I had much to learn. If you or someone you love is going through a breakup. Here are some tips for making this a fruitful time spiritually.
1.Put God First: Do I really love the Lord above all else?
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength (Mark 12:30, NIV).
We can’t love someone else if we don’t love God the most. Our priorities must be rightly ordered if we are to have a successful relationship. If you rely too much on one person they are sure to let you down. The Lord is the only one who has the purest, unconditional love.
2. Identity: Focus on defining yourself as a child of God instead of (name’s boyfriend/girlfriend). If you spent a lot of time with your significant other you might be feeling something of an identity crisis. Always remember your deepest and most meaningful identity is as a child of God.
A song that helped me focus on this was Beloved by Tenth Avenue North. I recommend praying with the following lyrics:
You’re my belovedLover I’m yours Death shall not part us It’s you I died for For better or worse Forever we’ll be My love it unites us And it binds you to me It’s a mystery
3. Surrender: God knows what’s best for us. He will lead you to the right person
4. Healing: It’s hard to give your heart to someone for it to constantly be taken away. God’s love is the only true unconditional love that exists and he desires to pour his undying love into you. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18, NIV).
Breakups can leave you broken as you search for your future spouse. The Lord will help you pick up the pieces and move on. Pray for healing from any wounds, emotional or physical, from this relationship.
5. Reflection: Reflect on your relationship. Why didn’t it work out? Talk to God about how you’re feeling and what you would like to work on before you enter into your next relationship.
Breakups are so hard. However, someone wise once told me to run after God, then look around and see who was running with me. That’s who you are meant to be with. I’ve given you prayers for a breakup, but feel free to customize them to your specific situation. Please leave prayer requests in the comments so we can pray with you!
Short Prayer For A Breakup
Lord, I have just gone through a devastating breakup. Wrap me in your loving arms as I journey through this difficult time. I’m broken, hurt, sad, and lonely. Please, Lord, help me get up and keep going so I can continue to glorify you in all that I do. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For Discerning A Breakup
Lord, things are not going well in my relationship. Something feels off and I really need your guidance on how to proceed. If it is your will for us to keep dating then please help us to figure out these issues. If it is Your will for us to break up please reveal this to me. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer Before A Breakup
Lord, I’m going to break up with (name). As devastating as this will be, I know it’s the right thing to do. I know this relationship is no longer Your will so I must end it. Give me the strength to go through with it.
Please help (name) to understand why I’m doing this. It’s what’s best for both of us. May the Holy Spirit be upon me as I share how I feel with (him/her). May my words help (name) understand that this breakup is part of Your plan.
Thank you for giving us this relationship. It helped me to grow and learn a lot. This relationship was what you wanted, but now it’s time for us to move on. Thank You for always being my guiding compass and leading me where You want me to go. Help me and (name) to always be attentive to Your voice. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer During A Breakup
Lord, I don’t want to do this. I really don’t want to break up with (name). Please give me the right words to not hurt (his/her) feelings. Help (him/her) to know this is the right decision. I need to do this. I know it’s Your will. Give me strength. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For Daughter/Son Going Through A Breakup
Dear Jesus, my child is going through a difficult time after (his/her) breakup. It’s absolutely heartbreaking to see (name) so sad. Please help me to be the supportive and loving parent that (name) needs right now.
I know it’s a sensitive time so please help my words to be your words. I want (name) to feel comfortable coming to me to talk about the breakup, but (he/she) has been pretty quiet. I hope (he/she) is at least talking to You.
I didn’t realize how hard it would be to be a parent during a breakup. I want to hash things out with (name), but I’m not the person (he/she) wants to share all the details with. It’s hard to not be the person your child most relies on anymore.
Please mend (name’s) broken heart. I know (he/she) desires a long term relationship. When the time is right, please place that person in (his/her) life. Your timing is perfect so I know they will meet when you want them to. I pray that (name) is attentive to Your voice when the time comes for them to meet. Help (name) to be patient as (he/she) waits for (his/her) partner.
Thank you for Your guiding hand throughout our whole lives O, Lord. We trust in You and Your providence to find the perfect partner for (name). We know only You are perfect, but there is one person you have hand picked for our (son/daughter) to spend (his/her) life with.
(He/She) will be the perfect person to lead (him/her) closer to You. Thank O, God. May our child focus on the good that is to come out of this breakup until it is time to enter into that next holy relationship. In Your Name, I pray. Amen
Prayer For Growing In Virtue After A Breakup
God, there are many virtues you want us to model as Christians. The Scriptures tell us that compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience are just a few of the characteristics we should embody as Christians (Colossians 3:12, NIV).
After going through this difficult breakup I want to take this time to grow in virtue. I want to be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. When I see those less fortunate than myself may I remember to treat them with the love of Christ. May all the words that come from my lips be spoken with kindness, gentleness, and love.
May I be someone who does not boast about my accomplishments. May I be someone who recognizes Your power and knows that I can do nothing without You. May I have a heart of humility. I struggle in this area so please give me the desire to change and/or put someone in my life to help me improve in this area.
Help me to grow in the virtues of fortitude and faith. When inklings of doubt about You creep in O Lord, please show me that You are a miracle worker. Help me to persevere in any trials I face. In whatever area of my life I am lacking please show up for me and help me to be a more virtuous (man/woman) so that I can be ready for my next relationship. In Your Name, I pray. Amen
Prayer For A Friend Going Through A Breakup
Dear God, my friend is going through a breakup. I’m trying to be a good friend, but I just really don’t know what to say sometimes. I’m trying to glorify You in my words, but my friend and I keep saying negative things about (his/her) ex.
Help my words be your words. I know it isn’t always helpful for the friend to say how much better you’re off without the other person. I feel that’s not what (he/she) needs to hear right now, but I’m not sure what the right comforting words are.
Help my friend to see that this breakup is just a blip on the radar. (He/She) will find the person (he/she) is supposed to spend the rest of her life with eventually. I know (name) wants that person right now, but it’s not Your plan right now.
Help (name) to use this time to grow in virtue and self-discipline. This relationship ended for specific reasons. My friend has things (he/she) needs to work on before (he/she) is ready to enter into a new healthy and holy relationship. Give (him/her) the desire to work on these things.
Wrap Your loving arms around my friend. Help (name) to rest in your compassion, peace, and strength. May (he/she) always see that Your will is our peace. I pray (his/her) prayer life flourishes during this time of singleness and propels (him/her) to be a better disciple and future spouse. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For A Sister/Brother Going Through A Breakup
Dear God, my (brother/sister) is going through a breakup. I’m trying to be a good sibling, but I just really don’t know what to say sometimes. It’s harder than I expected to see (name) at such a low point in (his/her) life. I’m trying to glorify You in my words, but (name) and I keep saying negative things about (his/her) ex.
I just want to defend my sibling and help (him/her) feel better, but I know slandering someone else isn’t going to change the fact that they broke up. Help my words be your words. I know it isn’t helpful for me to say how much better (he/she) is off without (his/her) ex. I feel that’s not what (he/she) needs to hear right now, but I’m not sure what the right comforting words are.
Help my (brother/sister) to see that this breakup is just a blip on the radar. (He/She) will find the person (he/she) is supposed to spend the rest of (his/her) life with eventually. I know (name) wants that person right now, but it’s not Your plan yet.
Help (name) to use this time to grow in virtue and self-discipline. This relationship ended for specific reasons. My (brother/sister) has things (he/she) needs to work on before (he/she) is ready to enter into a new healthy and holy relationship. Give (him/her) the desire to work on these things.
Wrap Your loving arms around my sibling. Help (name) to rest in your compassion, peace, and strength. May (he/she) always see that Your will is our peace. I pray (his/her) prayer life flourishes during this time of singleness and propels (him/her) to be a better disciple and future spouse. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For Grieving A Breakup
Lord, I have just gone through a stressful breakup. All I want to do is grieve what we had together, but I feel like everyone just wants me to move on with my life immediately. It’s frustrating and exhausting to keep up appearances when I just need time to process and sulk.
I spent so much time with my ex. Our lives were so intertwined so I deserve to have time to mourn our relationship. It’s a tiny death. A death of what was and a death of what might have been. I know the pain will lessen as time goes on. Help me to remember these words from Scripture,
“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever” (Psalm 30:11-12, NIV).
Despite my pain, I must continue to praise You. You have a plan for me, a perfect plan! My ex isn’t involved in that plan, at least not right now. Help me to praise you for what I do have and find joy in the small things each day.
I trust in Your plan even if I don’t understand it. Help me to surrender my own will and not give in to my selfish desires. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For Healing From A Breakup
Lord, please heal my broken heart. I’m struggling to get over my recent breakup and need your help to recover. You healed people over and over again in the Bible, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so I know You will heal me too.
Help me to have self-control so that I don’t rush back to my ex. Help me to work on my anxieties and overcome my fears and insecurities. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For Putting God First After A Breakup
Dear God, Your Son says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these” (Mark 12: 30-31, NIV).
If these are your greatest commandments then they are my biggest prayers. I want to love you above all else. If I can focus on this area of my life then I will be ready to be in a healthy and holy relationship someday.
When I struggle to put you first I pray that you take away the distractions. Give me the desire to be a holy (man/woman) who prays daily and fervently.
I also pray that I can love others like myself. Your Son served the poor selflessly and that is something I should be doing here on earth. It is our mission as Christians to be Your face, hands, and feet to those we encounter daily. Please help me put this mission at the forefront of my mind.
I know I struggle with putting you first so please place someone in my life to help me grow in these areas. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For Encouragement After A Breakup
Lord, I am downtrodden. I’m struggling to find joy after my recent breakup. I need some encouragement from You! When I am at my lowest points help me to remember these words from Scripture,
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, NIV).
I know you are with me. I know that I am not defined by a (man/woman). I am beautiful in Your eyes and loved beyond measure. Help me to be strong and courageous. Help me to have joy and get over this breakup. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Prayer For Peace After A Breakup
Lord, Your will is our peace. Please help everyone going through a breakup to have peace about their decision. If they broke up then there is a reason. If they are unsettled about the decision pour your peace out upon them to know that it is what’s best for them.
May all going through a breakup remember Jesus’ words from Scripture, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid” (John 14:27, NIV).
Maybe it is your will that these couples will get back together someday. Until then, help them to work on different areas of their life. Help them to become the people you want them to be and have peace with their decision to part ways until You are ready for them to come back together. In Your Name, I pray. Amen.
Breakups are hard. There’s no way around it. Whether you’re 16 or 36, you will likely be mourning your past relationship for a little bit. There’s no timeline for how long grief should last. Whether it’s 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years, take your time before you enter into a new relationship.
Use your time of singleness as a time to put God first, focus on your identity as a child of God, surrender your plans, heal emotionally and/or physically, and reflect on where you need to grow as a person and disciple.
Always remember the Lord’s love is steadfast. Cling to that during your time of despair. He is always there to comfort and console you with His loving arms!